IF YOUR SCORE IS BETWEEN 0 and 20

You have a very clear view of your relationship and are willing to discuss matters with your partner. You know what’s good for you but are not always open to immediate confrontation. Sometimes biding your time until you’ve gotten all the pieces of the puzzle together can work out better than jumping the gun and getting an answer you don’t want.

When it comes to lovemaking it’s always a great idea to ask for what you want, but don’t forget that sex is a partnership. Don’t get assertiveness confused with aggression…some matters of sexual intimacy require delicacy and mutual agreement. You can learn to compromise and adopt a style of lovemaking that combines sensitivity with assertiveness and both you and your partner will benefit. Taking the time like you seem to have done with your relationship, to be supportive and understanding can take your relationship into a new dimension-some people are naturally good at anticipating and caring for a partner’s needs, others have to work at it. You’re one of the luckier few that seem to have gotten most of it right!

IF YOUR SCORE IS BETWEEN 21 and 35

Although there is no doubt that you love your partner, you may not be as tapped into his or her needs as you could be. It is important to try and be as sensitive to his/her needs or problems that your partner is experiencing. It may be that you are reluctant to acknowledge that there are problems; perhaps you feel that you can’t tolerate your partner’s way of handling these issues or you lack confidence in your ability to deal with them. It is possible that your occasional non-committal behavior is being construed as apathy or indifference. Don’t be afraid of healthy confrontation, show your partner how much you care and put the issues on the table- your relationship will grow stronger for it.

IF YOUR SCORE IS BETWEEN 36 and 42

You care a great deal about your partner and express a great deal of interest in any problem you and your partner may be having. The fact that you can identify that you are having problems right now shows that you want to change the way things are. You may be ready to show your support although your partner may not fully realize your good intentions. Perhaps your partner might more easily acknowledge your willingness to work things out if you went a little further with your pro-active actions. This means either taking the first steps or making a little extra effort to prove to him/her that your relationship matters a great deal to the both of you. Also communicating to your partner that you’re not bailing on the relationship is key!! This heartfelt, open and honest gesture can give you both a stable foundation upon which you can create the time to re-build some of the basic core elements of your relationship. At a turning point in this type of relationship, it is of utmost importance that you both attempt to rectify and overcome your problems together! Only in a relationship where both parties can feel safe, secure and confident about your being together is there the ability to have a healthy and healing partnership. Please note, that if there is any ongoing emotional or physical abuse in the relationship-A word of Caution! Although it is great to be supportive, make sure that your own needs or safety don’t get neglected!