Euphorium Q & A
Everything you ever wanted to know about sex, but never asked. Here’s your chance to ask Dr. Arlene Krieger.
Below, you can find some hand-picked questions and answers from past visitors. To send your own question, please use the form at the bottom of this page. Not all questions will be posted here and NONE of your personal information will EVER be shown.
Question:
I recently found gay porn on my boyfriend’s computer and he says he is not gay but gets off on it. What do I do? I’m so confused…
Answer:
Everybody has what is called a sexual template that is usually formed by the time they are 7 years old. It is possible that your boyfriend observed or experienced something of that nature when he was younger. If that is so it could continue to be a turn on in some form or manner. It doesn’t mean he is going to act on it or is as you put it possibly gay. However, this is something depending on length of your relationship, where it is going and future plans that you may have, is something that should thoroughly discussed honestly.
Question:
This is my first time receiving anal sex. Why did I bleed and can I orgasm from being penetrated. Can his sperm harm my rectum?
Answer:
The bleeding occurs from tiny tears in your anus, to avoid this in the future use a lubricant to make penetration easy and more comfortable. The anus is home to thousands of nerve endings which make it easy to feel pleasure from penetration, the use of lube may make this easier for you, breathe and relax and you should be able to orgasm. His sperm will not harm the rectal tissue; it will be naturally excreted by your body. As always please be sure to have safe and protected sex.
Question:
For months now my husband has not been able to ejaculate. Is this an emotional problem on his end? Please help!!! He has been checked medically.
Answer:
The difficulty in ejaculating that you describe is known as delayed ejaculation. Men with delayed ejaculation may be unable to ejaculate or may only be able to ejaculate after prolonged — 30 minutes or longer — intercourse or manual stimulation. This can be a frustrating problem for both partners.
Medical causes of delayed ejaculation include: Trauma to the pelvic nerves, which control orgasms, such as from injury or pelvic surgery A side effect of certain medications, including some antidepressants Excessive alcohol use or illicit drug use Neurological diseases, such as stroke or nerve damage to the spinal cord
However, the most common causes of delayed ejaculation are psychological. These may stem from concerns about performance or cultural or religious taboos. Another psychological cause is conditioning resulting from certain masturbation patterns. For example, a man who is used to masturbating with a very fast motion may find it difficult to climax with the slower process of intercourse.
A medical history and thorough physical or neurological exam can determine if delayed ejaculation is due to an underlying medical condition or a side effect of medication.
Treatment of delayed ejaculation depends on the underlying cause but may include: Sex therapy with a therapist who specializes in this area, if the cause is psychological Changing medications, if the cause is thought to be a side effect of medication Discontinuing use of alcohol or illicit drugs
Question: I want to know if the habit of “showing/exposing” or “exhibitionism” to willing female voyers is a sexual addiction or just a kink! I’ve almost made it art! It’s almost one of the reasons I stay in such good shape since it’s easier to convince women to enjoy looking at a nice body…What do you think? Cheers-T.
Answer:
“Exhibitionism, commonly referred to as “flashing,” is characterized by the achievement of sexual excitement through genital exposure, usually to an unsuspecting stranger. It also refers to a strong desire to be observed by others, specifically during active masturbation in front of the victim. The key features of true exhibitionism include situations when the victim is unwilling, the subject is sexually aroused by the shock or surprise of the victim, and no further sexual contact is desired. ” The Legal Aspect
You state that your habit of exposing yourself is only to “willing female voyeurs”, however it is important to define exhibitionism and the legal aspects in our society.
Question:
Why does my fiancé seem to have no interest in me, sexually? When I ask him about it, he swears he is still attracted to me.
Answer:
Without knowing your whole situation, it is hard to say, there are so many contributing factors to a low-libido. He might be stressed about work, finances, personal issues; it could be an age factor. Try doing something with just the two of you, reconnect! Take the time to reignite the spark, start a new hobby or just set aside some “us” time to get things rolling again.
Question:
My fiancé is 81; I’m 57. He cannot maintain an erection and b/c of medical issues; he can’t take Viagra, etc. I can stimulate him to orgasm, but he wants to be able to penetrate me. Is there some “sleeve” or gel or tool or method that you know of? Thank you.
Answer:
In this situation with out knowing all the specifics of your fiancés medical issues I will have to generalize on the subject. You disclosed that your fiancé can reach orgasm but cannot maintain an erection. Due to the fact that he cannot take erectile dysfunction medications my suggestion would be to explore just exactly what you mentioned. Sex toys can be great aids in helping you to fully enjoy your sex life together. Please go to my blog site askdrarlen.com where there is a link to Babe Land where you can be free to explore sex toy heaven.
Question:
My girlfriend wants sex 24/7, sometimes as much as three times a day. I’m a healthy red-blooded American guy but now sex seems like a chore that is demanded of me. Please let me know what you think is a normal sex drive. We are in our late 30’s.
Answer:
Nobody wants to do something that is demanded of them. Once it becomes a chore or a job it become something distasteful to us and something that we “have to do”. Without knowing the details of your relationship it is hard to give you an absolute specific to your relationship. However, it sounds like your girlfriend might have a higher libido than you do. This does no necessarily mean there is anything wrong with you. If you are noticing that even without pressure form your girlfriend you’re just not in the mood you may want to rule out any medical concerns. Look at your sleep patterns, exercise, alcohol intake, use of any substances that might be reducing your energy levels and thus your libido.
Question:
I am 23 years old I have had more then one partner and I have never had a orgasm. Is something wrong with me?
Answer:
First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. According to statistics only 30% of the female population can reach orgasm by vaginal intercourse. Many women do not easily orgasm, or know what it takes to make them orgasm. Get to know your body and what feels good to you. If you’re not comfortable on your own it’s hard to tell your lover what you need to reach your climax. Masturbation is a good tool for women to learn what they like because everyone is different. There is no one sure way for everyone to orgasm. Take some time to relax and see what it takes to excite you. Good Luck! You may want to explore on books, internet, and information on your own on the subject.
Get Your #1 Internet Dating Questions Answered by Dr. Arlene Krieger
As a sexologist, I get a lot of questions everyday about the rules of online dating. You may have found yourself wondering what the rules are. Today, I share the top 10 questions that I get asked by my clients. Please leave your answers to these questions in the comment section below and next week I will share my answers to these burning questions.
Question: Who should start the conversation or send the first email when dating online? Question: Is it ok to ask someone what their intentions are? Are they planning on dating several people or are they ready to settle down? Question: Boy meets girl, Girl meets boy (in person) now what? Question: A man asks you out, you go on two dates and now it is already Friday morning and he hasn’t called to see if you are available tonight or for the weekend. What do you do? Question: If you go on a few dates and the chemistry feels right, yet he hasn’t called to make plans with you for the weekend and you have other people interested in you and asking you out – Do you go? Question: If you are the woman in the relationship, do you have to wait for the man to call? Question: Why don’t people just say what they mean or say what they want? Question: Do you feel that there should be many weeks of talking before you get intimate? Question: Do you think that you should get the intimacy out of the way, so you can see if the sexual chemistry there? Question: Is it possible that your expectations are completely unrealistic?
Everything you ever wanted to know about sex, but never asked. Here’s your chance to ask Dr. Arlene Krieger.
To send your own question, please use the form below. Not all questions will be posted here and NONE of your personal information will EVER be shown.
As a Ph.D. Clinical Sexologist, Researcher and Author I will be posting a New Selection of INFO – Sexual Health & Current Cutting Edge News blog posts. I welcome all Questions and Comments and look forward to hearing from my readers.” – Dr. Arlene G. Krieger